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'Tell me what are the happiest times you remember in our marriage' Stephanie asks from the ER.
Its Saturday morning just a few days from the words 'you have cancer' The pain is so intense we ask for an IV to help moderate the breakthrough pain for her.
I can't tell her because I will cry. I go to the car and get my computer. I will blog. I can't even spell. But I will blog.
Stephanie tells me 'We need to tell Jensen'
We are home it is the day after 'the news' Jensen is having so much fun because Malcolm and Laura are at our house. Shalauna is also here. My grandson McKay is having so much fun running through the house.
Jensen is a typical ten year old boy. He is a happy-go-lucky kid. His relationship with Stephanie is just like the old movie they would show us in Seminary as kids. The mother son movie. The one where the mother is fully engaged in her little boy's life. The one where it always made you cry no matter how many times they showed it to you.
'Hey dad'
'hey Jens'
I am thinking in my mind of all the experiences in my life meeting with people.
I realize this is the winner. How can I do this? How do I tell my nine year old son? I need to keep my composure.
How do you tell your son that his mother has cancer. This is the boy that loves to fall asleep next to Stephanie every night. This is the boy that at a recent flag football game, is so concerned that Stephanie is watching him run for the end zone that he actually needs to look over on the sidelines to make sure she is fully aware of his run.
'Jensen the doctor told us yesterday why mommy is hurting so bad' .................... She has cancer.
At that moment his hands go in the air as he says 'OH....... that is great..........I thought it was going to be something bad!
I wrapped my armes around him, whispering in his ear 'yes it could be so much worse Jensen.....I love you'
'Mckay lets go, follow me' he is out the door Mckay in tow.
Tom, it means to much to all of us that you are able to share this with us. Nothing can ever compare to how important family is in our lives and having these entries to help us know what you and Stephanie and your family are experiencing and knowing the updates on her condition means everything to us. We stand ready to help and support you and your family in any way. We join our faith and prayers on her behalf and hope that you will have the time and energy to keep us updated this way. And most important, that you will call on us when we can help you or your family in any way.
ReplyDeleteTom, this is a beautiful site you've created. This posting is heart-wrenching yet deeply meaningful. Thank you for bringing us into your home, your lives and your inner thoughts. I adore Stephanie and my heart aches for her, for all that she has endured and must now experience. I can only imagine the pain, sorrow and fear that you and Stephanie are feeling. I want to do anything I can to help!
ReplyDeleteI'm glad to join my faith, prayers and today's fast with that of all our extended family members. The power of combined faith and prayers is tremendous. May you receive comfort, answers, and sufficient strength as a result. We love you and your family!
I'm bawling, this is just too heartbreaking to hear. It confirms all my fears of our family's pre-disposition to cancer. If you need us to help care for jensen let us know, the kids love to have him visit. And of course we will include Steph and your family in all our prayers.
ReplyDeleteSteph...I am thinking of you and your sweet family. We have missed you guys so much.
ReplyDeleteI remember the first neighbor who came and introduced herself was the most beautiful lady I had ever seen with our favorite Breyers Vanilla Bean ice cream and hot brownies:) We loved getting to know you and Jensen, Anna, & Bre.
Tom what a great idea to journal this life experience. Sometimes time goes too quickly you forget tender mercies and what love and support you have surrounding you. I would love to help if I wherever I can. Really.
You'll be in our prayers @ the Giles' house...know that.
We are following your blog now. Great lesson from Jensen - something like "having faith as a little child" comes to mind. You have a lot of friends and we are all praying for you and wish you the best. There are an awful lot of cancer survivors running around today and we expect you will join them. Be tough. Be happy. Be faithful. We love you guys - J&M
ReplyDeleteThanks for making this blog. We are thinking daily of your family and hope the best for Stephanie's recovery.
ReplyDeleteLee and Stephanie Syphus and Family
Jill and Jason Nichols said thanks for the blog. We will definitely keep aunt Stephie in our prayers. We are thinking daily of your family and hope the best for Stephanie's recovery. We'll make sure she gets her name put in the prayer box at the Sacramento Temple.
ReplyDeleteThank you for keeping us updated. I feel a special closeness to your family because of the great time we have had together at your home in Mexico. Van and I are praying for you every day and we went to the temple to pray for you and put your name on the prayer role. We love you!
ReplyDeleteFelt Family,
ReplyDeleteWe send our love and faith your way. Our families are connected in a special way and we want you to know that you will be in our prayers constantly.
I am searching for a force of nature or a special favor to call in to stop Tom's sadness and to help Stephanie. All of us who love Tom and his family will ask for Father's special attention in Stephanie's behalf for as long as it takes. This news gives me an instant assurance that Tom always knew Stephanie was in real trouble with her pain and I can testify to anyone that he never one time seemed burdened by Stephanie nor did he complain for himself. The symptoms she suffered were so many times misdiagnosed, and Stephanie's trials have always been Tom's #1 concern. You know...this blog absolutely astonishes me and I surmise others have thought the same thing. Tom is not supposed to be predisposed to writing such clear thoughts, but he writes exactly how he communicates with his voice. Tom leads with many gifts.
ReplyDeleteWe love you Tom and Stephanie, Malcolm, Wyatt, Bria, Annalise and Jensen.
Tom, thanks for sharing your feelings with us, we wish to be closer at that time again Steph you are very strong and your precious family is the source of that energy.
ReplyDeleteWe still keep our Mexico memories, we had such a great time, we miss you.
Everyday we think of you and hope all the best!
Beatrice, Laura, Celine & Eric
What Cancer Cannot Do
ReplyDeleteCancer is so limited-
It cannot cripple love,
It cannot shatter hope,
It cannot corrode faith,
It cannot destroy peace,
It cannot kill friendship,
It cannot suppress memories,
It cannot silence courage,
It cannot invade the soul,
It cannot steal eternal life,
It cannot conquer the spirit.
Tom,
I don't know who wrote this but I wanted you to have it. Your a good man and I am proud to call us friends.
Golden