Tuesday, October 26, 2010

The 'news'

This post is 3 of 6.  So far

Monday morning we meet with Doctor Randal.  He is a very thorough individual at the Hunstman Center.

You can't help but look around in the lobby and hallways and wonder.

 "How bad does this person have it"

Some people are sitting and waiting.  While others are laying across several chairs.  They have their pillows and blankets.  It breaks your heart.  All ages are present.  And then you realize......we could be in this system......it hits me like a train!

Meeting with the doctor it is decided that another Biopsy is needed.  This time in the Tibia.  This bone  is right bellow the knee.  We learn after this surgery why he was anxious for one more surgical biopsy.

Surgery is set for Wednesday at 7:00am.

'The sample is quite interesting' The assistant Doctor tells me in the waiting room after surgery.

'The Biopsy hole in the Tibia has created severe pain. They are working to get it under control'

 He also states 'Dr. Randal is already on the scope studying the sample'

The biopsy would take two weeks.  Evidently they have microscopes that allow some preview on the spot.

Two hours later I am invited to Stephanie's room.  The pain is under control with an epiduaral type procedure on her leg.  I have decided not say anything about the post surgery Doctor visit in the waiting room to Stephanie. (She won't know until she reads this post) I was still trying to define for myself what he said? Soon the doctor arrives.  Both Stephanie and I are hoping for the best.  I mean the last biopsy was not malignant.  So why would this one?

The Doctor was pure sincerity when he came in.  That in it self, caused me to feel so vulnerable.  I just felt like if he looked at me to long I would cry.  Anyone that knows me understand crying is very rare for me.  He was about to say directly to Stephanie what I would give anything not to hear. This good man then said

'The Biopsy will take two weeks......But I know my business.......I know what I see.......we found cancer........all the blue cells'

We ask the doctor what happened on the first Biopsy.    He says because of the lesions on her knee he sent back the tests three times.  He said it did not make sense.  He said we had to report no Malignancy.  But he knew they needed to go in again.

Well he was right

I was so proud of Stephanie.  While the doctor explained everything she listened and knodded her head.  She would say

'OK I understand'

Durring those few moments it seemed like a complete dream for me.  I know it is Stephanie that has the cancer. What is going on with me? I felt so sad.  The doctor and nurse would look at me during 'the talk' and it felt like it was a "are you ok?" look.

Stephanie has been sick from 2000 until December of 2008.

 I just got her back.  Our kids just got her back.  I hear her laughing with the kids.  She goes to parent teacher conference's.  Cooks meals.  Plans events.  and everything else.  We have so much fun.  I love her.  This is so bad for her. Why would this happen?  Give her to us for awhile and then go back to all the pain?  How does that happen?

I know that paragraph is selfish of me.  This is a blog.  I will always be honest.    Stephanie loves me and I love her.   She has such a hard time with pain.  Give me several lifetimes in Samalia in exchange for her pain........but give her back to my family.


  1. Tom, I have just learned that Stephanie has cancer. This blog is really beautiful. Writing can be a healing blessing in so many ways. Please know that my family will be praying for Stephanie, for you, and for your children. And know that I will do whatever I can to help. Stephanie is a strong and a resilient woman, so she has a lot working in her favor. I'd love to bring over a few freezer meals for you to have on hand to use in a pinch. I'll coordinate that in the week to come. Thanks again for sharing this journey. And know that we're all here with yhou. With love and prayers--Jodi

  2. I did a little post on my blog about how much i love your family-


    Love, Collette